If you've ever been surprised by a friend or relatives divorce, you know that it can make you start contemplating your own marriage more closely.
Here are some of the common predictors of divorce.
A lack of kindness to each other
Researchers have found that when the ratio of positive to negative interactions in a marriage falls below 5:1 it's a sign of discord and can be used to predict with a 93% accuracy which couples will divorce in the next 5 years. The negative interactions with the most impact are criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.
Want to turn it around? Start flooding your spouse with positive interactions. They may respond in kind and help get you back on the right track.
A lack of positive memories
At a point where the marriage participants can no longer remember positive aspects on the marriage and are overwhelmed by negative memories, then divorce is also much more likely. The number of bad memories is not necessarily the issue, as the intensity of the bad memories can override a great number of positive memories.
This can happen in relationships where there has been a distressing event, including the death of family members.
Want to turn it around? Plan some new adventures together that create some positive memories.
Previous failed attempts to repair the marriage
Where there have been several failed attempts to repair the marriage, the participants often start to feel a sense of despair over the prospect of a final repair to the marriage, which can make it harder to move forward successfully.
Want to turn it around? Enter the new repair attempt with an open mind and make a pact to table the idea of divorce for a time period to give your repair attempts a chance to work.
Disagreements about money
In American research it was found couples who don't share bank accounts are 145 percent more likely to end up divorced. While sharing a bank account won't magically prevent divorce, having vastly different attitudes to money can put significant stress onto your budget and your marriage.
Want to turn it around? Have an open discussion about your household budget and the contributions each partner makes to the household. Agree on 3 items to make your budget run more smoothly.
If it seems that your marriage may have reached the point of no return, it's time to meet with a divorce lawyer, such as those found at Walker Pender Group, to discuss your options moving forward.
Share20 February 2015
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